God I hate planes

Published on Aug 20, 2009 Rants! « Prev Next »

Dear god but I hate flying on major airlines. It’s just not happy fun time for me.

Firstly, I get an awful headache as soon as the cabin pressurizes. I don’t know why and I wish like hell it didn’t happen, but it does. It doesn’t help my cherub like demeanor one bit is all I’m saying.

Secondly, you’re in close proximity to a lot of people for a long time and I am anything but a people person. Again this does nothing for my attitude.

Thirdly, I swear these seats are getting smaller. I know I’m no spring chicken and need to lose weight but this is silly. Even Melissa looks cramped.

Finally the smells on this plane are starting to annoy.

One woman showed up with a very small baby that I had expected would be crying nonstop. Not a sound so far. I thought, “Wow what a good baby.” Then the smell began. He pooped. And based soley on the baby-poo miasma that is floating through this cabin it must have been one hell of a load.

A few minutes later the woman behind us thought it was a perfectly reasonable time to paint her nails. I shit you not. On a plane with a closed air system she decides it’s okay to unleash fumey nail polish stink on the whole plane.

Unreal. So now I’m sitting here typing this on my iPhone as the baby goes for round two and I cant help but ponder about the possible colors of baby-poop nail polish.

Good times.